Reviewing your okcupid profile

Hello SexyBatman4eva29PDX,
Upon reviewing your okcupid profile I feel the need to express some concerns I have about the way you portray yourself.

1. You aren't smiling in any photos. This makes me think you hate everything, or are trying to seem cool. You are trying too hard to seem aloof. That's it, isn't it? Or are you a psychopath?

2. Also concerning photos, the only one you show with your friends - frankly, your friends are REALLY good looking. Comparatively, you are less attractive and it's really distracting. Can you introduce me to them?

3. Since every male our age has already touted their prowess at micro brewing, being laid back, liking the writing of Chuck Palahniuk, hiking, biking, running a 5K, liking Thai food, Sushi, Indian, etc... how about you skip all of that and we'll just assume it all applies? Anything original?

4. You write "Hemingway," we read "Misogynistic Tendencies."

5. Please stop listing all of those bands. It really doesn't matter. Don't be a show off. "Look at all the hip bands I can name."


There's a secret I want you to know:
I'm mostly looking at your photos. If I think you're easy on these eyes, I'll continue on to the write-up, otherwise I move on.

Also, dude, what's up with your name?

Sincerely,

HonestBitchNJ

Introduction

I don't feel like I need to introduce myself. You'll learn enough as you read.
I'll try to post once a week. Maybe you'll read it once a week?
Whatevs.

I'm a grown up teen.